A year ago, longer maybe, Honey-Love started using this phrase. “It’s not that you don’t have time, it’s that you don’t make time”. Not to shame me or to scold himself, rather, as a simple reminder that, so often, we DO have time but we use “not having time” as an excuse. I didn’t like it at first, then it became another – silent – mantra, deeply rooted in me.
Let me say first that sometimes, we humans, truly do NOT HAVE TIME. Some things require time and devotion that doesn’t mesh well with the things that we have to get done. We have jobs, school, children and relationships that, not only should be getting most of our time, but they NEED to in order to flourish and grow. The real way we can apply this one-liner to our lives is in the other, less meaningful – but still impactful – daily decisions.
If you want to do something, watch a favorite show, go for a bike ride, read a book, learn to cook then somehow you find time in the day or week or month to accommodate it. If, on the other hand, you want others (or yourself) to THINK you want to watch a show, go for a bike ride, read a book or learn to cook, you might say “I want to, but I just don’t have time”. Is that your schedule talking, or the utter lack of motivation? OR… it might be that old, familiar need to “fit in” talking. Whatever it is… it’s the perfect time to reevaluate and be honest with yourself.
When 2016 was happening I would say, “I don’t have time” a LOT. I’d say;
“I want to read but I don’t have time with all my books for school”
“I want to walk more but there isn’t enough time in the day to fit it between school, working and the kids”
“I really do want to eat better but I can’t find time to make my own meals, separate from the kids”
…You know what. Those were lies. Lies I wasn’t trying to tell to the rest of the world, but that I had convinced MYSELF to believe. The truth was, I was being “lazy” in those areas. I didn’t want to try because, in my mind, I was trying hard at everything else.
In 2017 the urge to be honest with myself is everything… Now, I’m checking myself, and being more honest in my explanations to others… Now, I say;
“I love reading, and there are some books I hope to read this year, but I’m trying to focus on the classic books that apply to my classes. I could probably read a chapter a night in a book for fun but I don’t think I’m going to make that my priority now.”
“I really wanted to walk more this year and it can be hard with so many things to do in the day, but I’m going to get up early and make hitting 10,000 steps by 10AM my goal for the year. If I walk instead of laying in bed that extra hour I can achieve a lot!”“I need and want to eat healthier, and since making a separate dinner is something I don’t want to do, regularly, I’m going to focus on protein smoothies, and having fresh fruits and vegetables around as a practical solution. Honey-Love and I can make healthy date-night dinners at home, as a treat.”
Now, OBVIOUSLY, I’m not saying you need to say all that to every Joe-Schmoe that asks or comes your way, but do you SEE that difference. It’s acknowledging what is actually important to you, how you can find a solution if it IS important and a way of pondering on solutions when you might be at a different place in life. I find that just being honest with myself makes commitment to a plan much easier.
So, yeah, I might have the time… But it is yet to be seen if I should or shouldn’t make it.
(Featured image is NOT my own and appears C/O Design LoveFest and was created by Jen Lashek)